Karole: Schäuble is just a good accountant

Schäuble suggests that the Greeks do not go to national elections in the spring (or ever I am not sure…). Yes that Schäuble, Wolfgang, the German CDU politician and current minister of Finance, the one whose version of “macro-economics” is identical “with the budget of a Schwabian Hausfrau” (Germany’s Carthaginian terms for Greece) .

Karole, I know you studied in Cologne but it has been a while so let me help you out: Schäuble is currently the only European finance minister who can convincingly lie about the state of his finances, the Fins are the ones who can only produce low end phones and the Dutch are the ones who will be begging you to set up some of their campers in Florina if you live to be a 100, the glaciers have melted and they must migrate south or drown.

But I digress, Karole. Schäuble thinks it is more efficient if the Greeks do not go to elections and he thinks it is necessary for Samaras and Papandreou to commit to  the deal he instructed the troika to set up. Schäuble is having his own difficulties in his own country, you see. He needs to explain to his constituents why the hell he is spending so much money on the Greeks if they are so useless. The Greeks are not useless you say? I know. But he and his boss (the woman from the East) have told their constituents that they are. Besides, Karole, the money Schäuble gives the Greek’s goes to German banks so it is a masqueraded bank bail out for which Schäuble’s constituents are fooled to blame the Greeks. I, Karole, think that we should go to elections no matter what. If you and my fellow Greeks still have the proverbial balls we proved to possess over and over again over the centuries then you should send German washing machines, the promise of uninterrupted electricity and hot water, a porcelain toilet and German Mercedes  to hell and go to vote. Why? Because that’s what Greeks do! We invented it and we are supposed to defend it under any kind of circumstances. But Karole I doubt it. My fellow Greeks need to fall from a false grace in order to regain their greatness. I don’t think they are ready.

Karole you and I agree on many things but let me tell you where we disagree and where you and Schäuble appear in my eyes to be playing on the same team. The last so many years Karole the parties Samaras and Papandreou are now heading basically split the profits of a catastrophic trend they send the country in. They shared the power and they put their people in high paying positions in the Greek public sector. I still remember the fights between them when they accused each other of preferring their own. So here is where I think democracy comes first and Schäuble’s stutter is only historical comedy.

Wolfgang wants the Greeks to not vote and he wants Samaras and Papandreou to cooperate. I don’t. I want the Greeks to vote and I want the two major parties to blame each other. I want these two to viciously fight each other and accuse each other of corruption and nepotism. Why? Because they are guilty and because this is their only chance to evolve into something healthy, because this is the best way the country can find a way out of this mess.

Schäuble is an accountant who is looking at the bottom line in his books, Karole. His job is to get the beans counted right and at the end more should be under the German bottom line than elsewhere. I wish we had such an accountant as well. This is why he wants the guilty Greek parties to cosign cooperation: to secure his money. That this cooperation does not help the country is not his worry. Our job is to teach democracy and clean our mess. You Karole have been part of this mess. You know that, I know you do. I liked that you gave up your salary. The money can probably sustain 6 low end retirees. Karole dissolve the parliament, ask the Greeks to decide between washing machines and democracy and make them vote Samaras and Papandreou into unemployment. Katharsis, Karole is what Schäuble cannot afford but katharsis is the only way Greeks can regain their dignity and set the record straight on who is who. Then the Greeks will be Greeks, Schäuble will be an accountant, the Fins will be Fins and the Dutch will be nothing more and nothing less than Dutch. Katharsis costs and hurts this time. Talk has never been cheaper. We will need to sacrifice lots of washing machines to pay for katharsis this time, Karole. But virtue was never a hedonistic endeavor.

PS: You’ve heard that your German counterpart lost his job over a scandal I suppose.

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